Robot Mom

Wow! It’s been a long time since I’ve wrote in blog format but I am becoming quite tired of the micro content that social media platforms have to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy being a consumer of it but I don’t as much enjoy sharing my own heart in such limited characters.

Since I’ve last written on my blog I have become a Mom, a home owner and my relationship with Jesus has swept me off of my feet. Back in 2017, when my husband and I were still just boyfriend and girlfriend, we went through a terrible breakup which confused my relationship with the Lord so very much. When we eventually got back together (praise God!) we also experienced some intense church hurt which made us retract back into our shells even further when it came to our relationship with God.

I’ve spent plenty of time with my head buried in self-help books, looking inward, diving into my “self” full-stop, and even though I was able to become successful materialistically with a self driven mindset- something was always missing at the end of the day. So when enough time went by and enough let-downs echoed in my head and rippled through my soul, I finally took the time to glance backwards and see the broken bridge I had burned up that was my trust and faith in God. Thankfully, He was standing right there waiting for me. But that’s a story for another time.

If you’ve known me at all you’ve known how much of a go-getter I am. I’ve owned my own business for around 12 years now and I’ve also had a career in music most of my life. A lot of goal setting, hard-work, planning, doing, crying, smiling, burnout and joy go into all of that. Now, I knew that when we got pregnant in 2021 I was going to love being a Mom but I never knew what that depth of love would feel like or how it would drastically change my life…for the better! Being a Mother has called me up and has been the biggest most rewarding challenge I’ve ever took on. It’s almost indescribable. It’s kind of like runners high - you have to work really hard for it and the hard work is enjoyable, because there’s snacks on the way, but when you get into that FLOW, wow! Every pounding step you take into the ground that reverberates through your bones is so worth it.

So now that I’ve fallen in love with being a Mom (it was instant!) and feel like a caterpillar who’s gone through it’s metamorphosis, I’ve had to figure out how running a business fits into my life as a Mom and wife vs. how to fit being a Mom and a wife into running a business…and what a journey that has been! You may be wondering why this blog post is titled “Robot Mom” and I am here to tell you now, it’s because some days I wish I could be a robot Mom - meaning, our schedule never changes and every single day is the same because with a child, absolutely no day is the same and the perfectionist in me (that I embrace nowadays!) loves a good, predicable routine. But with wearing so many hats, this is not an achievable goal. I can do it all, but not all at the same time or in the same season. (And every time I think I’ve got that down…well…I still don’t.)

I have, however, put some awesome routines / schedules / etc. into practice and I’ve learned SO much over the past 15 months of how to continue to work hard with my business while being a present Mom and homemaker. I won’t spill all the details on that today, but this is why I wanted to start this blog - to share things that are working for me because I know for sure I am not the only one.

As I sign off for now, I do want to say that I could not run life at the capacity that I do without Jesus. I lean on Him DAILY for strength, for patience, and for Him to help me remember my priorities. Whenever I make a new scheduled I pray for God to give me a heavenly download of a strategic schedule that makes sense for our family. And He always does! I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit and God’s counsel. Recently I had been praying about the next season and for days I keep just asking Him in my mind “how do you want me to handle all of this”? And He gave me this - “Yellow light”. And I knew immediately what that meant. So I’ve started Yellow Lighting myself in my current season which means “slow down”. I can’t tell you how many moments I’ve had lately where I’ve just had to tell myself “Hannah, Yellow Light!” And it’s like the “ahhhhh…deep breath, God’s got me” feeling.

So, if you’re out there dreaming for a Robot Mom kinda of schedule, rest in the fact that it’s not possible. lol And ask God…what do YOU think this season should look like for our family? And let Him speak to your heart.

Be back soon.

Blessings,

Hannah